Debris

The first step in any spiritual awakening is demolition. We cannot make headway in seeking God without first tearing down the accumulated junk in our souls. Rationalizing has to cease. We have to start seeing the sinful debris we hadn't noticed before, which is what holds back the blessing of God.-Jim Cymbala in Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire

Debris. What an excellent word for the things of this world that we surround ourselves with. No, immerse ourselves in. Willingly, knowingly immerse ourselves in. Things that keep the noise level up around us so that we don't have too much head time. Things that occupy every waking moment so that we can't possibly commit to doing something God is calling us to do.

Heck, we can't even hear Him calling.

I can think of several in my life.

1. Television. I could add up how many hours of tv I watch every week pretty easily, but I don't want to put it in a concrete number and admit it.
2. Books. I have started reading from a devotional every night before bed and then I read a Psalm and a Proverb from my One Year Bible. Often I read something that really gets me thinking. Something that is really convicting. But, not one to stay in thought for long, I almost always pick up the book I'm reading for my usual "reading before bed" time.
3. Music. I have about a 30 minute commute each day. It is never quiet. I fill the van with either my favorite morning show or music from my iPod. (My iPod is not very Christian, by the way. I seem to especially love music that I have to find "CLEAN" versions of when I buy it so the kids won't be exposed to bad language when they ride with me. But I still know what the artist is singing and, let's be honest, the kids probably do, too.) Some days, although not many, I will have a mini worship service in my van with some of my favorite music from Christian artists. Even then, though, I am surrounding myself with noise to occupy my mind rather than sitting still and listening for God.
4. Photography. I have a photo blog and I find myself striving to put an image out on the blog that will get praise from someone. Anyone. It feels good to be told that something you did is liked. This coming week's blog theme is "manipulated", so it gave me free rein to open up my favorite photo editing software and play with photos. I spent, literally (and I, unlike sportscasters, do know what that means), hours on this.
5. Online communities. The photography blog is just my latest attempt to reach out into cyberspace and get positive feedback, friendship and affirmation. I have already been through parenting communities, diet and exercise e-mail groups, Facebook, and Twitter addictions. I also love to blog. I have two other blogs beside the photo blog (this one and a more personal one focused on diet and exercise). I have tried to go cold turkey from each and every one of these except blogging. I have broken away from some but not all and every time I break one addiction, I pick up another.

I think I need to pray, as Jim Cymbala put it, for the Holy Spirit to put a shovel and broom in my hand to help me get rid of this debris.

Growth and direction

Almost two years ago, Steve and I moved from the church we had been attending, the church he grew up in, to a church closer to home. We had several very good reasons for leaving our old church and finding a new church home, but it was still a scary proposition. This was the case mainly because we were moving from a church where we knew almost everyone to one that was much bigger where we knew almost no one.

The first thing I knew I had to do was to find a Sunday School for myself and Steve. We visited a few and found a home in the Asbury Class. The leader of the class was warm and welcoming as was the rest of the class. The class wasn't too large and we liked the sorts of things that were discussed. Eventually, I became co-leader of the class, which made me feel even more at home because I love to teach adult Sunday School.

We went through the new member's class and joined the new church a year ago December. About two months later, the minister announced that he was being moved (as Methodists are wont to have done to them). We watched a minister we liked leave and a plan for church expansion get put on hold.

When we found out who our new minister was to be, I found his wife online through her blog. She found my photo blog and we had lunch shortly after they got to town. A warm and truly engaging person, I fell in love with Mollie and her family through her. Brian's very personal approach to us as members of the church (which isn't easy to do with a congregation of our size) made me thankful that our church had been brought this new pastor.

Now, our church is about to embark on an even bigger expansion than the one laid out in the blueprints that got mothballed a year ago. We recently found out that a loan has been approved for us to purchase a retail center that abuts the church parking lot. Perfectly located for us to grow without "moving", the largest space in the center is a empty grocery store. We will begin renovations there. I have walked inside this empty store and the amount of room is astonishing! I can't wait to see what we will do with this opportunity.

I am also anxious to see and hear what God will call us to do with this opportunity. In reading books like The Jesus of Suburbia, and Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire, I have been made keenly aware of how easy it is for today's churches to focus inward on their own members and those members' desires and biases. What I hope to see is vibrant outreach in our community, where we can have true impact on those all around us that are not believers, that are not churched, that are in need.

What will God do with our church? What part will my family and I have in this growth? I guess we all just need to pray and listen! I find this so difficult to do, so please join me!

My D.J.

This morning as I drove into work, I put my iPod on and got a few nice songs strung together by some divine D.J.:

Hallelujah-Leonard Cohen

Peace on Earth-Todd Agnew

Breath of Heaven (Mary's Song)-Jessica Simpson

Shadows-David Crowder Band

Ignition-TobyMac

I thought it was just what I needed this morning and found it amazing that the iPod, on shuffle, strung these together without a single one of the many pop and hip hop songs intermingled.

The song that speaks to me today is the David Crowder song:

When darkness falls on us

We will not fear

We will remember

When all seems lost

When we're thrown and we're tossed

We'll remember the cost

We're resting in the shadow of the cross.

When we are in the shadows of dark days, we are always in the shadow of His cross: protected, loved, and saved by His amazing grace.

Case in point

I finished Cure for the Common Life and started a new book during my lunch time getaways. Before I tell you about the new book, let me just say that having cleansed my palatte of the last book for about a week, I'm going to return to what I originally said about Christian "self-help" books like that one.

Not my cup of tea.

Here's the problem: for the duration of the time that I was reading that book, I was focused on ME, not God. I need to turn my gaze up, not in, folks. You can see from my blog posts during the time that I was reading the book that I wasn't thinking about anything but me. (And, I deleted one post about 10 hours after putting it up...even in the heat of it, I knew that one was too self-indulgent!)

Moving on...

I'm now reading Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire by Jim Cymbala. Cymbala is the pastor of the Brooklyn Tabernacle, which I was familar because of its amazing choir (which is led by his wife). I'll write more on this book later, but I wanted to go ahead and share what it was that I was reading.

And, while on that subject, I'll also mention that I'm reading Bread and Wine each night. This is a Lenten/Easter devotional book just like the one I read at my pastor's suggestion during Advent (Watch for the Light).