Monday, March 26, 2007

A New Song

"To repent means to turn, to turn from whatever binds or enslaves you."-Father Tim Kavanaugh in A New Song by Jan Karon

After reading a very good, but very dark book (Piercing the Darkness), I decided I needed to go back to Mitford. This book, the fifth in the series, follows Father Tim and his wife as they go to a new town where the he will serve as interim priest. In his new capacity, he is told by his bishop not to worry about his old parishioners, which he finds difficult to do. However, after a terrible storm rips through his temporary island home, he finds it easy to say "no" to a planned trip back to Mitford to stay and tend his new flock.
This book has a few wonderful pauses in the action (so to speak) that allow us to share in some of Father Tim's personal reflection...and which caused me to reflect myself. At one point, the priest reads over the following passage from a sermon of Charles Spurgeon's:
Go to Him without fear or trembling, ere yon sun goes down and ends this day of mercy, go and tell Him thou hast broken the Father's laws-tell Him that thou art lost, and thou needest to be saved; tell Him that He is a man, and appeal to His manly heart, and to His brotherly sympathies. Pour out thy broken heart at His feet: let thy soul flow over in His presence, and I tell thee He cannot cast thee away...
Father Tim jots down in his notes, "Not that He will not turn a deaf ear, but that He cannot."

I will share later, perhaps, my reflections on the Frank Peretti book I mentioned earlier, but will say, for now, that the most amazing section of that book was a brilliant portrayal of heaven's response to a lost soul crying out to God for forgiveness. This passage in A New Song brought that imagery flooding back and makes me know that I need to spend some time on my knees in His presence...real quality time...soon.

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Out to Canaan

"We think we dare not be satisfied with the small measure of spiritual knowledge, experience, and love that has been given to us, and that we must constantly be looking forward eagerly for the highest good."-Dietrich Bonhoeffer, quoted in Out to Canaan by Jan Karon

In Jan Karon's Mitford Series, we follow the life of Father Timothy Kavanagh, the Episcopal rector in the small Carolina town of Mitford. It is encouraging to me to read of a man, a man who has given his life to God, who questions whether he is doing all that God would have him do. Because I question that a lot...particularly of late.

In one exchange with the chaplain of the local seniors' home, Father Tim muses about a ministry he feels he should be leading at "the Creek". The chaplain indicates to the rector that he already has a Creek ministry of his own and proceeds to list three individuals that the Kavanagh had personally saved from a grim life in that bad part of town. To Father Tim, these things had not even occurred to him to be a service to God.

The chaplain goes on to note, "I think we're always looking for the big things...The big calling, the big challenge." And that brings up the quote above from Dietrich Bonhoeffer. They also note that Bonhoeffer says we must be "grateful even where there's no great experience and no discoverable riches, but much weakness, small faith, and difficulty".

One other segment of the book that made me look inward occured when Father Tim was overtaken by a feeling of overwhelming gratefulness for everything that he was blessed with. He drove through town seeing people and things he was thankful for and recalled a quote from Patrick Henry Reardon:

Suppose for a moment that God began taking from us the many things for which we have failed to give thanks. Which of our limbs and faculties would be left? Would I still have my hands and my mind? And what about loved ones? If God were to take from me all those persons and things for which I have not given thanks, who or what would be left of me?

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Getting Into You

When I made up my mind
And my heart along with that
To live not for myself
But yet for God, somebody said
Do you know what you are getting yourself into
-from Relient K's Getting Into You


Can I admit something here? I wonder if I am doing the ministry that God is calling me to do. I don't want to elaborate any further than that, I think. I have typed some things that I'm not ready to share yet, but suffice it to say that I am really trying to hear what God is saying to me because I'm unsettled with what I am doing in His name.

Friday, October 06, 2006

I Want To Know You (In The Secret)

Knowing God is not always easy;
probably one of the biggest hurdles is the difference between "knowing" Him
and simply "believing" in Him.
In James 2:17 it says that faith without action or good deeds is of no value.
As we desire to know God better, one question we have to ask ourselves is
do we just believe in God or are we seeking to know him more?
-liner notes in WOW 2000 from Sonicflood (about I Want To Know You (In The Secret))


I was filling my car with some old Christian songs this a.m. and as each song came on, I was reading the liner notes from each performer about the song. The words from Sonicflood were so thought provoking. I am pretty familiar with the Book of James and I the concept that faith without works is a dead faith. I don't struggle with how that fits in with the concept of God's overwhelming and unearnable grace. I feel that if you truly believe, that belief will drive you to act.

But, I had never thought about this in the context of my personal relationship with God. I never thought about how "believing" without actively working on the relationship was a dead faith. I knew this in my heart all along...but I love that I now know it in my head and that it has been tied in with the writings of James.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Let Go and Let God

My youngest, Lizzie, started kindergarten this year. I was certain we would have some adjustment issues with her, but didn't expect problems like the ones we have dealt with for the first two years of Maury's public schooling. See, Maury turned out to have ADD. We have spent all this time getting his medication just right so that he can make it through most days without being a terrible disruption. Lizzie...well, I was expecting her issues to be with talking too much. I also thought she wasn't quite as ready for the academic stuff as Maury had been.

I was wrong. Lizzie is actually performing in the top of her class. And, it's not talking too much that is the problem. It is screaming. Not following directions. Hitting. Squirting classmates with juice. Climbing the walls in the bathroom.

Last week, she hit the low point when she was sent to the principal's office. The worst thing about that was that she REALLY acted out when she was told to go to the office. Nope. The punishment of it was not enough to scare her straight even for a moment. That night, we told her that she would not be allowed to attend a school carnival if she had another day where she was on "red" or had a note sent home. We also offered some positive reinforcement to her if she stayed on "green" the rest of the week.

She came home the next day reporting that she had been on "red". She hadn't even made it to her classroom that day before she started acting up, in fact.

So, this Monday, I went to the bus stop feeling worn down by her. (I haven't even mentioned that she was getting in trouble on the bus as well.) What could I do? I had met with her teacher. I was trying to reinforce things at home. I was talking to her morning and night about it. Nothing was getting through.

Nervous and discouraged, I got in the van and prayed. "Lord, Fill them up. Amen."

I should have done that sooner. Why didn't that ever occur to me until then? I'm not with her during her school day. God is. He always is.

She hasn't gotten on "red" yet this week. And, I am praying every morning for them after they get on the bus. My prayer is more elaborate now, though. It is one that starts with praise for God...then asks Him to please do it again!

Thursday, September 07, 2006

His Strength

The first few weeks of homeschooling this year were stressful. I had a really nice time this summer taking it easy, and getting back to school was really hard. Every year the kids have more subjects we have to add. This year I have to make sure Aidan's writing improves because he has a 4th grade reading test. I also have to make sure I'm covering everything Keely needs to know. Meanwhile I have a crazy almost 2 year old!

I just didn't know what I was going to do with Cedric because he was always into everything. I had been praying about it because I really feel God has put me in this position of homeschooling the kids, and it's the right thing for us. I just didn't know HOW I would do it. After a couple weeks of going crazier and crazier, I started lightening up on the kids a bit and not expecting quite as much. I also got them started on their work, and I'd take Cedric to town for awhile, while Chance was home. Getting Cedric out of the house gave him something to do, and he loved it. The kids would do their work while we were gone. Then, all of a sudden, Cedric started playing with his toys more than 2 minutes at a time. He would actually sit on the floor and stack blocks for awhile, or play with Keely's math money.

I was talking with my mom about the situation and I realized this was an answer to prayer! God is giving me coping techniques, and helping Cedric learn how to do more things so I can handle what I've been given.

Today in Bible Study I shared this story and it made me realize all the more how much God does for us.

Brenda

Monday, August 07, 2006

My Jesus

Which Jesus do you follow?
Which Jesus do you serve?
If Ephesians says to imitate Christ
Then why do you look so much like the world?
-from Todd Agnew's My Jesus


It is not at all a coincidence that it has been almost a year since I posted here last. I've fallen out of relationship with Christ and become all too focused on this world since then.

We attend church and Sunday School. I still go to Circle. I even sing in the choir now. What I don't do is study the Bible, teach Sunday School, or pray regularly.

What I have been doing is listening to obscene music, watching too much television and spending too much time on the computer looking for approval from people I don't really know. I have made a lot of excuses for the sinful behavior of others based on my desire to be tolerant. I have enjoyed humor that is off color. I gossiped. In all ways, I have fallen short. Way short.

This Sunday, I actually taught Sunday School for a friend who was going to be out of town. The scripture was from Ephesians. The Ephesians mentioned in the Todd Agnew song that I quoted above...a song I had not heard until today. Read Ephesians 5:1-20. It convicted me. It opened my eyes to what I have been doing versus what I should be doing. Scared straight? I hope so.

Something else happened Sunday. Part of our Sunday School lesson discussed the difference between being baptized by the Holy Spirit and being filled by the Holy Spirit. We are baptized by the Holy Spirit without any action of our own but we have to take steps to be filled. If we have any unconfessed sin, we have not given over complete control to Him and He can't fill us.

This was heavy on my mind as we sat in church and prepared for communion. I was praying about this as I knelt at the rail, offering up the sins I had refused to admit before. The preacher dismissed us, the choir, from the altar rail with a prayer that for once did not mention one thing about the gift of music.

Instead, his brief prayer asked for us to be filled with the Holy Spirit. I felt as if that was spoken right to me by Christ.

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Beauty from Pain

And though I can't understand why this happened
I know that I will when I look back someday
And see how You've brought beauty from ashes
And made me as gold purified through these flames
-from Superchic(k)'s Beauty from Pain


My mind hasn't been focused on anything fully since Katrina made landfall on the Gulf Coast. Always at the back of my mind are thoughts of the people and the losses they are suffering. I'm particularly aware of the people who either chose not to or, much more tragically, did not have the means to evacuate. Those who are still alive are left in a place which has been described as hell on earth.

Tonight I put in a new CD and heard Beauty from Pain for the first time. It seemed like a little hand out from God reminding me that it would all be OK. I just know that it will be a long time before those affected feel like "OK" is something that they can say in response to the simple question, "How are you" and my heart aches for them.

Monday, May 23, 2005

Homesick

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

-from Mercy Me's Homesick

Early last summer, my mother-in-law Barbara, her best friend and I went to see Mercy Me and Michael W. Smith in concert. Right before the concert, Barbara and her sisters had gone on a riverboat cruise with their mother, Alma. During the cruise, it became apparent that Alma's liver cancer was no longer slow growing and not a threat to her life.

As we sat out at the open air concert in the rain, Barbara was sharing this news with me. The skies began to clear when Mercy Me took the stage. When they introduced their song Homesick, they explained how the members of the band had lost several people close to them during the production of their latest album. The song went right to my heart as I sat next to Barbara who had lost her father many years ago and was now facing the imminent loss of her mother. I ached for her as I thought about the losses in terms of being homesick for a place where your parents were.

In September, Alma passed away with her daughters by her side. Right now, the girls are together working on her house. I know they are feeling very homesick right now as they are left clearing out a house which used to be their home and which they wish very much still was.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

PrayerRun

I wasn't kidding when I mentioned in an earlier entry that I make excuses for not praying. I do consider myself a spiritual person. A born again Christian, if you will. But, prayer...not my thing. I sit down to pray and my mind wanders and next thing you know I'm pondering some work problem or planning my weekend. Not good.

A couple of weeks ago, I noticed my mother-in-law had a book called PrayerWalk: Becoming a Woman of Prayer, Strength, and Discipline (by Janet Holm McHenry). One quick glance at the book and a short conversation with her about it and I knew I needed to get the book and get serious about making my early morning runs a time of prayer. So, the last two trips out to run, I've gone without my MP3 and with prayer on my mind. My thoughts still wander, but not far. Usually only as far as, "Holy smoke, breathe, Terri!" and then I'm back on task.

I have a lot to learn about prayer. But, at least now I have some time set aside for this specifically and that is a powerful step for me. Practice makes perfect?

Friday, May 13, 2005

Open Skies

And it's so wonderful
Just to be here now
Praise Him under open skies
Everything breathing praising God
In the company
Of all who love the King.
-from David Crowder Band's Open Skies

It is really beautiful today. The sky is clear and blue. The sun is shining. The trees are fully dressed in green and reaching for the heavens.

And, I am in a wonderful place. This country. This state. This city. Working in a good company with people that are honorable. Attending a church with people who are truly like family to us. Being part of a family that is full of love and blessed with good health.

Thank you, Lord, for all of these situational blessings that I often overlook. And, thank you for days like today when these things are so vivid to me.

Thursday, May 12, 2005

In the Light

I am the king of excuses
I've got one for every selfish thing I do
What's going on inside of me?
I despise my own behavior
This only serves to confirm my suspicions
That I'm still a man in need of a Savior

-from DC Talk's In the Light

Excuses. Most days, I am full of them. Some of them are spoken, many of them are within my own head. Excuses for why my house is a wreck, why a task at work isn't done, why a task at work turned out wrong, why I haven't sent family any pictures of the kids, why that bill was late.

Why I don't spend time with God each day.

Why I don't pray.

Why I forgot what someone was going through.

Why I judged someone.

Why I gossiped about someone when I knew it was wrong.

Why I haven't shared my testimony with people I love.

God doesn't take excuses. Fortunately, He gives grace and love in abundance.

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Beautiful

I blessed the day that I found you
The stars we put in place
The dreams we didn't waste
The sorrows we embraced
The world belonged to you and me
The oceans that we crossed
The innocence we lost
The hurting at the end
I'd go there again
'Cause it was beautiful
It was beautiful
-from Amy Grant's Beautiful

I miss my husband. He is out of town for five, count them, five nights. It's not just that I'm on my own at home with two toddlers. It's not just that his being gone has killed my ability to get out and run, my new obsession, until he is back. It's those things a little, but it's more than that. Way more than that.

It's that he isn't there to be my partner in everyday existence. We have this little dance we do every night taking care of the kids, taking care of each other. I miss that. Yes, it has to do with me being the only one that the kids are bellowing at on these nights, but it is more than that. It feels like I'm one half of a whole without him there with me.

It's that he isn't next to me at night. I am used to being in a bed by myself because I travel on business a couple of times a year. I'm not used to being in MY bed by myself. In fact, I can't do it. I've cheated and had a tot in bed with me since Steve's been gone.

It's that he isn't walking behind me and, well, pinching my behind as he goes by. I am so fond of this little sign of affection from him that I feel like something is wrong if he passes by me first thing in the morning when he is half awake and he doesn't do it.

It's that he isn't there to watch TV with me. We are unabashedly couch potatoes and I know that it shouldn't matter if he is there to watch with me, but I really don't enjoy any of it nearly as much without him.

We have such a beautiful life together and it just isn't the same when we are physically separated like this. It makes me think about how these little things, these silly little things, will be what I miss so much some day if I am the one left behind. It's a sad thought, I know, but one I have at times like this.

I'm so glad he has had this opportunity to get away and just be Stephen for a while. Not daddy. Not husband. Not son. Just Stephen. But, I will be glad when he's home and can be all these things to us again from the same area code.

Monday, May 09, 2005

Last Day on Earth

Oh, if this should be my last day on this earth
How then shall I live
Oh, if this should be the last day that I have
Before I breathe the air of Heaven
Let me live it with abandon to
The only thing that remains
After my last day here on earth
-from Steven Curtis Chapman's Last Day on Earth

How do you live each day with abandon to your Lord? As I was driving to work to do my accounting job this morning, I pondered that.

Steven Curtis Chapman gets to live an obvious life of abandon to His maker as a Christian music artist. Everything he does, whether he intends for it to be so or not, is a statement of his faith because he is known as a Christian.

So, what can I, a plain, ordinary wife, mother and employee do to live in abandon to all that will really matter in the end? What can I do that will earn me the words, "Well done my good and faithful servant"?

Even though I'm not a famous Christian, I know that some people know that I am a Christian. Actually, almost anyone who looks at me should know that because I'm not wearing this cross necklace just to be a fashion icon a la the 80's Madonna. What do they also see when they see the necklace? Do they see a mother yelling at her out of control children in the video store? Do they see an employee frustrated with the tasks that are being given to her?

Even people on the road with me know what I am because I have a fish tag on the front of my mommyvan and a fish emblem on the back. I don't think the sort of abandon He is looking for is me cutting off a lot of people on the road or tailgating them so that they will see the symbol and think about their own mortality.

I am a witness every moment I am breathing whether I am prepared for that to be the testimony I give or not. I need to focus on abandoning myself to Him and His glory, honor and praise. This means reigning in my fears, worries and personal grievances so they don't restrain my ability to live with that abandon to God. Especially on a day like today: a day that started out well, but took a swift downturn when I let "things" block my line of vision. Such silly, earthly things that have no relevance to what will remain after my last day on earth. Here's to abandoning those things and living in abandon to Him!

Friday, May 06, 2005

friday's word

My brother-in-law, Andy, sends out daily word e-mails to a lucky group of people. This one came in on Friday and it uses the verse that gave this blog its name. He said it would be OK if I shared it here. And, by the way, I think Andy is a clear, steady light.

the word for friday is....LAMP.....this lamp on my desk is driving me crazy......i sit down to write, and as soon as i start typing (do you still call it typing, even if its on a computer?)... it starts blinking...

ive tried tightening the bulb.....but to no avail.......beth told me if it bothered me, i should fix it..... i told her that before i was married, my idea of fixing something was to throw it away and go buy a new one.....

but she said i cant do that..it was a wedding gift.....(not from anyone on this list!!!!!)

i only think about it for a few minutes each day.....then it never crosses my mind...until the next night......

it just gives off a screwed up light...not bright at all....and the constant on and off drives me nutty....which, i know, is a short drive.......... it just doesnt do what it is supposed to do !!!!!!!!

"You are the light of the world." Matthew 5:14.....

really? are we? are we a clear light...or a blinking...on and off...screwed up one???

Sunday, April 24, 2005

Sermon: UMW Sunday April 2005

I. Introduction
a. I started running at the end of February. It’s not something I have ever done before nor something I ever envisioned myself doing. But there I was, on the last Friday morning in February, walking in the predawn hours and throwing in an occasional run. The next day I signed up for my first 5K. Over the next few weeks I continued to work on building up my running time and decreasing my walking time. I participated in that first race and ran more of it than I would have dreamed possible. On my birthday, while we were away at the church retreat, I got up and took my first 30-minute non-stop run. Last weekend, I participated in my second 5K and this one I ran the whole way through a very hilly course in Alabaster. I’m signed up for another one in May and I hope to try a 10K by the end of the year.
b. All this to say, after Kittye asked me if I would speak to you today, it took me about five seconds to know what scripture I would speak to you about because my mind has been so focused on this new endeavor of mine. The scripture Cathy just read from Hebrews uses running a race as an analogy for living our time out here on earth. This is an analogy that I can now relate to better than I could a year ago when I first became familiar with this scripture as it was used in a sermon series presented at a church a coworker of mine attends in Birmingham.
II. Building Endurance
a. In Hebrews 12, the author tells the reader to run with perseverance, to throw off all hindrances and run!
b. When I started running, there were all sorts of hindrances. First of all, I had never run before. “Isn’t running bad for you?” I thought. Can’t you easily get hurt? Second, when was I going to run? I have so much on my plate already. When was I going to find time for something like running? I quickly figured out that the only time I would be able to run was at 5 in the morning. I thought, “Well, I can’t run in the dark! I’ll have to wait until it’s lighter in the morning.” That, I eventually realized, was just another excuse. It’s never light at 5 a.m.! What would I wear? What kind of shoes would I need? Finally, I just decided that no excuse or even the entire gaggle of excuses that I had come up with was enough to keep me from giving it a try…just once. Just one morning.
c. That is what we are to do in our spiritual race. We have to just decide that in spite of all the excuses we have for not living the right sort of life, the sort of life Jesus would want us to, we just have to do it. Just do it, as the Nike ad says. If we are spending time with people who will look down on us if we behave too much like a Christian, well, we just have to get away from those people. That may hurt. Very much. But it is something we may have to do. If we find ourselves in circumstances over and over again that make it hard for us to resist temptation and sin, we have to find the way to rearrange our lives to stay out of those circumstances. We have to decide, daily, that we are going to participate in the race set out before us as Christians. Sometimes we have to do this in spite of ourselves. Sometimes we have to decide to run forward when we feel like the day before was such a lost cause that there is no point in starting out again today because surely we will fail again. We have to KNOW that we are equipped for the race even if our past seems to argue the opposite.
d. So, there I was. I was going to start running. That first morning I went out and I ran some. OK, I ran very little. I just didn’t have the endurance to run more than about a minute without having to slow down to walk for five minutes. It would have been so easy to just quit at that point. But, I didn’t. I had read books about how your body would adapt and you could become a runner. I knew that I had to see what I could do. I learned a lot about myself, and I am still learning.
e. This process of building endurance is no different in our spiritual race. I doubt any of us just started out of the gate as a spiritual warrior. Even Peter had a lot of sputtering starts in his race. He was bold enough to step out on the water to walk to Jesus, but when the winds came up, he sank. He claimed he would die for Jesus, but then denied him three times. Nonetheless, this man later died for his beliefs on a cross like His savior. That’s how it is with all of us. I talked earlier about how running the faith race may require us to change our relationships and our surroundings. This is not an easy thing and it is not something that you can accomplish overnight. When you do decide to make changes like these, it’s easy to backslide into old behaviors…especially at first. But eventually, with God’s help, we will find a way to run past our demons. Slowly, these things that were such struggles at first to overcome will seem so trivial you might end up wondering how it was ever a hurdle you couldn’t sail over. Don’t worry. There are plenty more hurdles as we continue along the course.
III. Importance of Racing
a. Running can be a very solitary sport. It is certainly not a team effort. 95% of the time, I am running all alone. Remember I run so early in the morning, I not only am running alone…no one is even out to see me. Well, except for the newspaper guy. If you ever see me with newsprint on the side of my face you will know what happened that morning on my run. As a working mom, let me tell you I really enjoy this time to myself. However, it is important to actually participate in races. Races keep runners honest, it keeps us from being self-delusional. Racing reminds you that no matter how far you have come in your own personal training, no matter how many personal records you have set during your solo runs, you still are part of a bigger world of people who run. And many of them run better and faster than you do.
b. Many, many days I think I could be a perfect Christian if I could just be by myself. From the time I get up in the morning to the time I close my eyes at night, people and situations challenge me. As I was writing this very sermon, my children were fighting with each other and I was extremely tempted to behave in a way that was completely contradictory to everything I am talking about today. Do you want to know what one of the most challenging times of the week is for our family? Sunday mornings. It is rare that we get out of the house, on time, without someone yelling or screaming or crying. It’s really bad when Steve cries. But, anyway…that’s the way it is. We have to live our lives with other people. Coworkers, family, friends, people who are not our friends. It keeps us honest. It keeps us from being self-delusional. It reminds us that we need every bit of the grace that God has extended to us because we certainly aren’t going to be setting any personal records worth bragging about on most days of our lives.
IV. Types of Racers
a. I have a running hero. His name is John Bingham and he is an author and a columnist for Runner’s World magazine. At the age of 43, Bingham transformed himself from someone leading a life of sedentary confinement, as he called it, to the life of an avid runner and marathoner. But that is not what makes him my hero. The thing that makes him a hero to me is that he has such a lighthearted look at running, and believe me, running is not generally taken that way. He calls himself a Penguin. A Penguin because penguins waddle and that is how he says his running is best described. He is slow. He is a back of the pack runner. And, with this sort of honesty and humor, he encourages his readers to get out there and do the same. In his book The Courage to Start, he describes the four categories of runners that you will see at a race and how to spot each one of them. I have run in a grand total of two races and I can already see how on the money these descriptions are.
i. First there are the really fast runners-These are the national or even international caliber runners who have a chance at winning any race they enter. The really fast runners don’t talk to anyone before a race. Racing is all business to the really fast runners.
ii. Then there are the pretty fast runners-These are the local runners who on a good day might have a chance at an overall win. The pretty fast runners know the names of all the really fast runners and annoy them by trying to talk to them before the race. The pretty fast runners are never actually competing in the race in which they are running. They are always just training for the next race.
iii. Next are the kind of fast runners-These are the runners who have a chance at placing in their age group. They are easy to spot because they are either 1) injured right now, 2) just coming back from an injury or 3) are worried about reinjuring themselves.
iv. Then there are the runners like me: the back of the pack runners- These are the runners that might just, on a good day, not be trying desperately to stay in front of the police car that is bringing up the rear of the race. These are the runners who are worried about important things like, “will I be able to finish” and “will there be any post-race food left by the time I finish”.
b. When I read this section of Bingham’s book, I thought about how these descriptions can be pretty apt descriptions of Christians running the faith race.
i. In the scripture today, the author of Hebrews tells us to fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith. Jesus is THE really fast runner. The race was all business for Him and how He ran the race is the example for all of us to use in how we run our races. He kept His eye on the end reward and wasn’t hindered by anything that came along. Jesus had a job to do when He was on this earth and every step He took was one toward accomplishing His Father’s mission for Him.
ii. The pretty fast runners, according to Bingham, remember, were always trying to talk to the really fast runners. In the Christian race, to me this means these runners are always trying to communicate with Jesus. These are the superstars of our faith. These are the Christians who are always trying to talk to the really fast runner, Jesus. They are prayer warriors. They want to be like Jesus. These are people like Peter, Paul, and Mary (and I’m talking about the folk group). These are people like Martin Luther and Charles Wesley. People like Mother Teresa.
iii. The kind of fast runners are people like Ashley Smith, the woman who talked the Atlanta Courthouse shooter, Brian Nichols, into surrendering. Ashley, whose witnessing to the man who was holding her hostage, is now known around the United States for her Christian behavior on that very frightening day. But she has not always been a model for Christian behavior. Early in her life, she had been arrested for shoplifting, drunken driving, speeding and battery. She had watched her husband, the father of her daughter, die after being stabbed. She was, on that day, recovering from injuries she had suffered during her race in life. She was in the process of turning her life around, getting back on track. And, she ran a great race on that day and set an example for many to look to. She demonstrates that no matter how imperfect our past may be, no matter how many mistakes we may have made, we can still be a winner. We can still run the rest of the race with our eye on Jesus and finish in a way that would make him proud.
iv. The back of the pack runners are definitely “my people” when it comes to real life running. In my last race, I came in last in my age group. Only 5 people finished behind me and I know that at least one of those didn’t run one step in the entire race as she was walking the course. I was passed on the 5K course by a man that I saw turn around at the ½ mile mark with his children to complete the one mile fun run with them. He ran a 1-mile run and a 5K before I finished the 5K. Oh yes. I am definitely a Penguin in the running world and I think that is what I am in the spiritual race as well. Those of us in the back of the pack know where we need to have our eyes fixed, but we sometimes get distracted by more immediate earthly concerns. We run an imperfect race, a plodding race, a clearly unspectacular race, but we are at least in the race. John Bingham has a catch phrase, “The miracle isn’t that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start.” (which is where his book title comes from). As back of the pack runners in the faith race, we have proven we have the courage to start the race, now we just have to continue on to the finish. We have to hope we have days where we are one of the kind of fast runners like Ashley Smith, unafraid to try when we have been hurt before and know that we might very well get hurt again. We have to dream that we can be like the pretty fast runners and set an example for others to follow as we live a life in relationship with Jesus. But most importantly, we have to keep our eyes on Jesus and try to run the race like He would.

Monday, July 19, 2004

Devotional: Faith Circle July 2004

What Our Parents Get Us Into

Yesterday, in our women’s bible study, we were talking about the prophecy of the birth of John the Baptist. When his father was told that he would be born, he was also told what to name his son and that his son was to never take wine or other fermented drink. Samson was born into a similar religious vow. His mother was told her son would be a Nazirite, which involves several vows made in the name of spirituality, vows that were usually voluntary, but for Samson were a fact of life.

This got me to thinking about the kinds of things that our parents get us into. It’s all sorts of things. My mother bought certain brands of foods when she grocery shopped and I buy those same brands today. Family traditions. Political leanings. Choice of religion. Things from little to big, insignificant to life altering. Parents have far reaching influence.

Thinking further, I noted that John the Baptist thrived in the vow that was part and parcel with his birth. Samson did not. The same is true with all of the things I mentioned before. Just because a parent influences a child in a certain way does not mean that that will “stick”. Just ask my mother-in-law sometime about how different her son is from her in certain beliefs for an example. But, this isn’t always a bad thing. In fact, a child who is confident in his ability to think for himself and who is open to other ways of thinking is a great compliment to his parents, I believe.

Now, we have earthly parents and we have a heavenly Father. Just as our earthly parents get us into things when we are young, so does our Father in heaven if we are lucky enough to be raised in the church. As we grow in our faith, we are striving to hear, learn and internalize all things that come from our heavenly Father. We are hoping to “get into” whatever God wants us to. We want all of His influences to stick. We want to thrive in our vows to Him that come along with being His chosen children.

Let us pray:

Lord, please watch over all of us as we strive to be under your influence in everything we do. Open our ears that we may hear your quiet whisperings to us, our eyes that we may see your glory, our hearts that we may feel and share your love, and our minds that we may understand what it is to be a child of God. In the name of your son, Jesus Christ our Lord, Amen.

Monday, May 17, 2004

Devotional: Faith Circle May 2004

Maury graduates from preschool this Thursday. I find it hard to believe that he is old enough to have reached this milestone. But, that really is just an emotional response to this, not a logical one, because when I look at all that little boy can do and all he knows, it really should be no surprise that he is ready for kindergarten. It is truly amazing is how much learning he has packed into his short life. He came to us a clean slate, a perfect newborn boy with the world before him. We taught him what we could about the basics in life: how to eat, walk, talk. The preschool taught him so much more: colors, shapes, numbers, letters, words. He has absorbed everything put before him and now he is ready to go on to the next level.

Being a parent makes me understand a little better how God must feel about each and every one of us. He has not only known us since the day we were born, but before we were born. He placed us lovingly in the homes we grew up in. He left us to others to care for and raise, but He is still very much our Father, our parent. I am sure that He, like most parents, is amused by some of the things we do, not so amused by others. I am sure He wonders where we learned some of the things that we have learned…both good and bad. I am sure that He has times of great pride in His children and also times of great despair.

Watching Maury grow and learn reminds me of what I feel our purpose on earth is: to grow and learn and, in the process, grow closer to our Father by doing His work. In that sense, I wonder if He grants spiritual promotion in the same way that our schools grant scholarly promotion? If we seem to “get” most of what is being taught on a certain level, do we then get promoted to the next level? I don’t know about you, but sometimes I feel like I was demoted when I am facing yet another lesson in the same curriculum of life, one that is so similar to one I had before but clearly did not learn from. Still, there are moments of glorious understanding, moments when I feel ready to tackle new spiritual challenges, ready to move up to the next level.

So, as Maury walks down the aisle at graduation this Thursday, I will be thinking about what I need to do to move on to the next level in my walk with God.

Let us pray: Dear Heavenly Father, please be with us all as we attend your school here on earth. Show us all that however many days we have left here, you have valuable things to teach us if we will just take the time to sit at your feet and listen. Grant us your Spirit as a guide that we may not miss a single lesson set before us. These things we pray in the name of your Son, Jesus Christ Our Lord, Amen.

Sunday, April 25, 2004

Sermon: UMW Sunday April 2004

I. (Thank you to UMW)
A. Good morning. Before I begin, I want to say what an honor it is to speak to all of you today.
1. First, I am just honored to have this opportunity to talk to this church, which I love with all my heart. I hope I will say something that is of value to at least one of you here today and, in some small way, start to repay you for all you have done for me in my years of membership here.
2. Second, I am honored to be here representing United Methodist Women. I can’t say enough about how wonderful it is to be part of UMW. I love the fellowship I share with so many different women who I wouldn’t know as I do without UMW. I hope all of the women who are here today who are not a part of one of our Circles will consider visiting them and finding a home in one of them. It is well worth your time.
II. (Reflection on Easter)
A. When Kittye asked me if I would consider speaking to you today, I was very excited about the chance…especially since it is still the Easter season.
B. See, this Easter was very special for me.
1. The last year has been a real spiritual journey for me. Easter was the culmination of a year of reflection and rebirth in faith. It meant more to me than any Easter I can remember. I am so thankful to Bee, who helped me find this new life in Christ by sharing a wonderful Bible study with our Sunday School class, and to others in the church that have helped me grow in this new life, my mother-in-law, my husband, our ministers, the Faith Circle, and the FAITH Sunday School Class.
III. (Thoughts on the Book of Hebrews/Anthem)
A. The message I chose to bring to you today was inspired by the anthem the UMW choir just sang.
1. The anthem was about the final Atonement Day that was Good Friday. The sacrifice of the ultimate Passover Lamb. The glory and wonder of having our sins washed away by our Lord.
B. Under Mosaic law,
1. once a year, there was an Atonement Day. This was a day where sacrifices were made by the priests to redeem the people for all of their sins since the last Atonement Day.
2. But, please note that this had to occur every single year. No one sacrifice was able to take away all sin for all time.
3. An even more important annual event was Passover.
a) During Passover, an unblemished lamb was offered as part of a ritual of remembrance of the first Passover…when God’s wrath came upon the Egyptians in the form of a plague which took the lives of all firstborn men and animals. The Jewish people who obeyed God’s commands for that first Passover were spared, and subsequently freed from slavery. The event was remembered each subsequent year in a series of ceremonies that grew in length and meaning as time went by.
b) This very Jewish feast of Passover was the one that Jesus was celebrating with his disciples in what was the Lord’s Supper. Today we celebrate the sacrifice of Jesus as that final Passover Lamb every time we break bread and drink the wine of Holy Communion.
C. The author of the book of Hebrews was trying to demonstrate to the Jews of his day just that fact…that Jesus was the final Passover Lamb and not just the new administrator of Jewish law, some sort of successor to Moses (HALLEY’S). The author goes into great detail describing how Jesus is superior to all of the Old Testament prophets and leaders, sacrifices and rituals.
1. How Christ was the perfect sacrifice. He was the pure, unblemished Passover Lamb who took all of the sin of the world on His shoulders, suffered and died, and conquered sin for all time.
2. After His sacrifice, there is no need for any other. It is finished. In fact, Christ said so himself from the cross. “It is finished.” It is paid for. Forever.
IV. Now, I know that we all know that sacrifices are not necessary anymore. But, surely that is not the end of the story. We know we can’t earn the gift that God granted us through the sacrifice of His son, but we know we need to do something as believers to at least try to earn it.
A. (Repent and sin no more)
1. Even in the Old Testament days, merely sacrificing animals and possessions was not enough to receive God’s forgiveness.
a) Repentance was a necessary companion to sacrifice.
b) For example, Leviticus, after a lengthy list of sins that it was possible for the people to be guilty of, states “When anyone is guilty in any of these ways, he must confess in what way he has sinned AND, as a penalty for the sin, he must bring to the Lord a female lamb…..” so on and so forth. (Lev 5:5-6a)
c) There is no reason to believe that this requirement to repent of our sins went away when Jesus died for us.
d) We need to repent and not just in generalities. We shouldn’t just ask God to forgive our sins as a blanket request. We need to be very specific about what we have done that we desire forgiveness for.
e) Why? If you can’t be specific about where you have sinned, you run the risk of not being aware of it! If you don’t know what sins you have committed in order to ask specifically for their forgiveness, you need to pray for your eyes to be opened to them.
f) It is also necessary to be specific about your sins because, in this way, you are creating an open and honest relationship with God. If you are too ashamed of what you did to confide in God, why should He forgive you? He wants us to be honest with Him and in this honesty is the blessing of a wonderful relationship with our Lord.
V. Let’s get back to our scripture reading today. The author of Hebrews offers suggestions to his readers as to what it is they should be doing since the old ways had been made obsolete through Jesus’ death. These are all things we, too, should heed today. First, he says,
A. “Let us draw near to God”. In what ways can we do that?
1. (Prayer)
a) Think about this: When you truly love someone, how does this manifest itself in your life? Think about when you first met the person that you ended up marrying. Or when you first met someone who became a very good friend. What did you do? You spent enormous amounts of time with them! How else to you form relationships with others?
b) This is what prayer and meditation are all about. If we truly love God (and we know He loves us), we should want to spend all the time we have with Him. And, the beauty of this relationship is that we never have the excuse that He is not nearby!
c) “May my prayer be set before you like incense; may the lifting up of my hands be like the evening sacrifice” Psalm 141:2
2. (Study of His word)
a) Another glorious thing about this relationship is that we have His word to study. This is another way to draw near to God.
b) Who can ever say that they know all that there is to know from the Bible? The Bible may be an old book, but it is not a dead book. It is as alive as it was when the words contained in it were first put on paper. And, it is a way to make your relationship with Christ alive.
c) How many of you have opened the Bible and seen just the words you needed to hear, as if coming from your closest friend in your hour of need? Do you think that the authors of the Bible thought that the words they were writing would be used 2000 years later to encourage people who were suffering from things they never could have imagined then? The human authors couldn’t have….but the One Author above surely did.
3. We should specifically use the study of the word of God to take His Son as a role model.
a) There is a wealth of life giving, life saving truth to be found by studying the teachings and ministries of Jesus. It was surely Jesus’ purpose to become a model for all who would follow identifying themselves in relationship to Him as Christians.
b) Don’t think that you are 2000 years too late to be a disciple of Jesus. We may have missed the chance to walk in His footsteps physically, but we CAN walk with Him spirtually. We should strive to do that every day, every moment.
4. (Worship)
a) “Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise-the fruit of lips that confess his name,” the author of Hebrews writes in Chapter 13.
b) A sacrifice of praise…worship.
c) In The Purpose Driven Life, Rick Warren lays out five purposes for all of our lives as Christians. The first is that we are here to please God through worship.
d) And, worship should be a part of our every movement. We should honor Him in our work, in our caring for our families, in our fellowship with our friends, and in our worshipping at church, not just in the latter.
e) Worship is not about us and what we get out of it…it is about pleasing God. Thanking Him for His many blessings. Honoring Him. Drawing near to Him.
B. After advising to draw near to God, the author of Hebrews goes on to say, “Hold on to the hope that you profess”
1. The hope that we profess. This one takes a minute to think about and let it sink in, I think.
2. I just talked about how we are to draw near to God through things such as worship. Worship and praise. Praise which proclaims His greatness….His wonderful acts. The things He has done for us to give us the hope that we will have eternal life with Him. The hope that all of this STUFF that we endure on earth will pass and we will rise above it through God’s grace and mercy.
3. Therefore, in commanding us to hold on to the hope that we profess, the author is exhorting us to hold on tightly to this faith that we proclaim. Two things come to mind when analyzing this further:
a) One, there is a risk that we could lose this faith…and that it is a valuable thing we should grasp hold of firmly to keep from losing it.
(1) Faith is a tricky thing, largely because of the very nature of it. One of the definitions of faith in Merriam Webster’s dictionary is “firm belief in something for which there is no proof”. I’m not getting into an argument about the proof question, but I do want to make a point about how faith can feel at those vulnerable moments in your life.
(2) You lose a family member and you feel more alone than you have ever felt in your life. The faith you have that you are never alone can leave you.
(3) You find out a dear Christian friend has a terminal illness. The faith you have that God is good and loving starts to fade.
(4) You try to start your own family while everyone around you is having one, two, three children. The faith you have that God has a plan for your life to prosper you and give you joy begins to waiver.
(5) Yes, faith in God can start to look downright crazy when you are hurting and want comforting that comes from everything being made instantly OK…but this is when we need to take care to hold especially tight to our beliefs and those things that we KNOW in our hearts to be true.
b) In addition to the fact that faith is something we need to hold tightly to lest we lose it, the advice to hold on tightly to the hope we profess reminds me that we should not be holding onto it so tightly that we are not sharing it with others by witnessing.
(1) A story from a book that I’m reading called “If You Want to Walk on the Water, You Have to Get Out of the Boat” comes to mind here. The author of the book, John Ortberg, tells a tale of a woman whose mother dies and she discovers in the attic a beautiful set of china. Her mother had purchased the china years earlier and, because it was so valuable and special, she boxed it up and never used it lest it should get broken.
(2) Oh, how many times do we do that with things we declare in our minds are valuable. What a waste! Do you know what the woman in the book did with the china she found? She took it out and used it every day. She enjoyed its beauty daily. She shared it with others so that they, too, could enjoy it.
(3) This is what our faith should be like. If your faith truly gives you hope and peace and comfort and joy….all things of incredible value, you shouldn’t be a hog and not share that with others. There is plenty to go around and, after all, it is what Jesus told us to do in The Great Commission.
c) And, remember all of those scenarios I just talked about where people who are Christians already are starting to sag under the weight of their own sufferings and doubts? Those people could very well be the people you are sitting next to today. Don’t think for a minute that this witnessing is something just for the “outsiders” who don’t know Christ. I contend that witnessing includes fanning the embers of a fire that is starting to go out in those who do know Christ. Share your fire with others who need a little help getting spiritually ignited if you have it to share. Maybe someone will return the favor later on to you when you need it.
C. After advising us to hold tight to our hope, the author says we should “Consider how to spur one another on to acts of love and good deeds”
1. When I thought about this, I asked myself: “what is the best way to spur one another on to love others and to do good deeds?” My answer was, “By loving them first and doing good deeds for them”.
2. My kids are a great example of this sort of “spurring on”. Maury, in a blatant attempt to get attention, decides to start standing in his chair in the living room instead of sitting in it. Not to be outdone, Lizzie thinks, well, if standing in the chair is so worthy of mom and dad’s attention, what will happen if I stand in my chair, step over the arm onto the table next to it and jump off with a nice little arm flourish at the end? Maury, of course, adds a couple of extra steps, jumps and flourishes in the increasing obstacle course of attention getting and everyone ends up in time out.
3. They may be kids and this was an example of negative attention being given, but we are all pretty Pavlovian when it comes to our responses to people loving us and being nice to us.
4. Have you ever been asked by someone why you love them? Do you ever want to respond, because you love me? Silly perhaps, but isn’t it sort of a wonderful unbreakable cycle once you are in it?
5. I challenge all of you to take a look at 1 Corinthians chapter 13 this week. This is the famous “love” passage that all good weddings include. Don’t let the familiarity of the passage trick you into just skimming over the words again. Really study it. This passage is about so much more than the kind of love that you find at a wedding ceremony. This is about what God’s love for us is about and what we should strive for in our relationships with EVERYONE.
6. This is what Jesus meant by love when he said that “To love [God] with all your heart, with all your understanding and with all your strength, and to love your neighbor as yourself is more important than all burnt offerings and sacrifices” (Mark 12:33)
D. Finally, the author stresses to the readers: “Do not get out of the habit of meeting together”
1. Meeting together. Church. The body of Christ. This is where all of the prior teachings hit the road.
2. When I started today’s message, I told you that this had been an amazing year for me. Let me tell you a little bit more about that.
a) I was blessed enough to be born into a loving Christian family. We went to church and Sunday School every Sunday when we were young. Then, as a lot of young people do unfortunately, I wandered further and further away from church as I went through college and my young professional life.
b) Fortunately, Steve was also raised in a loving Christian family and had the same sort of upbringing as I had had. But, still, when we were first married we were sporadic at best about coming to church. Then Maury came along and there were even more excuses and glitches in getting ourselves to church.
c) By the time Lizzie was born we were solidly out of the church going habit. When we would come, she was pretty unhappy to be left in the nursery and that was like some sort of negative reinforcement for us to just stay home.
d) But, somehow, Steve and I both seemed to wake up to this realization on New Years Day 2003: we need to be going to church…all the time. So, we started coming every Sunday. I started going back to the FAITH Class. Lizzie persevered in the nursery. Maury was old enough for real Sunday School and he LOVED it. I started really enjoying the Bible study Bee was teaching us in the FAITH Class. Steve started attending the men’s breakfasts. I started going to Faith Circle again…every month. We both got involved in different phases of the Next Step process. Steve preached….TWICE. I started teaching Sunday School.
e) Our entire life together is changed and it wouldn’t have happened without habitually meeting together with the members of this church.
f) We are all family in Christ, if we just give of ourselves…our time, our gifts, our love…
3. Peter said in 1 Peter chapter 2 that we, “like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house to be a holy priesthood, offering spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ”. To be built into a spiritual house, we all have to be here….together….regularly. Give your church your commitment and I promise it will never let you down.

Monday, May 19, 2003

Devotional: Faith Circle May 2003

Has anyone else been looking for rainbows lately? I have. I know this weather is nothing like the great flood of Noah's day, but it does make me think a lot about that as we have day after day of rain.

Imagine what it must have been like to be Noah. Genesis tells us that Noah walked with God. In a time when the entire world was corrupt and evil, Noah walked with God. He heard Him when He spoke to him because he had a close relationship with God.

And, even better, he acted on what God told him to do. I don't know how many of you have ever heard Bill Cosby's take on the story of Noah, but I think it is rather enlightening. He humorously envisions Noah building this huge boat in the middle of a desert while his neighbors all think he has totally cracked up. But, Noah continued to do as he was told by God.

Then the waters came. The same floodwaters that swept away all those doubting neighbors, and everything else in creation, served to float the ark higher. The torrential downpours which destroyed others lifted Noah closer to God.

Somedays you look at the news and you have to think, surely God is going to rain down his fury on this world soon. It seems almost too much somedays. But, God isn't focused now, nor was he in Noah's time, on what was being destroyed by the evil of mankind's ways, but on what is being built. For Noah, what was being built was very obvious…a large boat. For us today, what is being built is a body of Christians who can go around the world and bring news of God's grace to all who will hear it. Yes, some of those who hear us may think we are just as delusional as Noah's neighbors must have though he was. But, if even one will hear us and believe, think how that will please God.

Heavenly Father, help us take after Noah, who walked with you, step-by-step, day-by-day. Help us find grace in your eyes by our faith. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen.